Before I move beyond the story of my quest for Angie’s miracle, I need to share one of my favorite books with you. It’s called Make Miracles in 40 Days by Melody Beattie. I found this book about 5 years ago and have since listened to it in audio format at least three times, plus I read it. It touched my heart and mind profoundly. I started writing a gratitude journal daily. And every day I easily found 10 things to write down that I was grateful for. This practice really really helped me keep a positive attitude. It reminded me to see the glass as half full. It helped me to appreciate what I have and oddly enough, it helped me appreciate the fact that I didn’t have something I thought I wanted. This sounds crazy, I know, but by listening to Melody’s story and following her suggestions, I learned, and am still learning how to change my perceptions. I also learned that I needed to find a way to be grateful for things I didn’t want or didn’t like. Now, I expect you think, “Why would I do that?” I get it. I wondered why I should do that too. Here’s what I discovered: deciding to be content and happy with what is, pushed me to see my challenges and problems as something that was good for me, as something that made me a better person and something that pushed me to be more patient or empathetic. For example, when we had to live for days without water and power because of a hurricane, we could be grateful for our time in the dark with a few friends, grateful for the generator that allowed us to have good food and light. When it passed and we could finally get back home to discover we all still had our intact homes, we were relieved and grateful. We could empathize at a deeper level with our neighbors who lost a roof or all their trees. We all worked together to clean up the downed trees and debris and to find a certain good in that shared effort. (I still hope that we will never have to live through another hurricane!)
As far as Angie is concerned, I am deeply grateful for all the wonderful people who have come into our lives and because of them, I realize our life would probably not be as fulfilled without her disability. Our lives might have been easier, but who knows. Without CP, she would have had the opportunity to live a normal life, but would that make her any happier than she is now. I don’t think so. She is so full of joy and fun today that I doubt that even if she had been healthy and “normal” she couldn’t be any happier. In general, my family and I all think that Angie has a happier life than the rest of us. When I feel like my life is just not quite what it should be, or that something bad has happened, I challenge myself to find a different way to perceive the situation. For instance, right now, I’m not teaching and I feel like I’m not using my training and my gift of being able to inspire and connect with my lovely students. I miss that part of my life, even though I had to work extremely hard. So, I’m trying to be grateful for not having work. I’m trying to be grateful for getting older too. I’m going to exercise classes and cooking more, eating healthy and spending more precious time with family. In this way, I can see the blessings, but even so, some days I miss working and feeling professional. Living life in gratitude is a daily, sometimes hourly process. I’m grateful to Melody for her excellent book and my good luck the day I picked it up and read it.